Everyone has a different method for relaxing; some people emphasize taking the time to unwind and consider it as a right. Others view it as something that must be earned and is only obtained upon the completion of a specific amount of work or specified tasks. But the reality is that relaxing is a skill, which most approaches overlook.
It is a skill that needs to be learnt and regularly practiced, much like other skills. At some point throughout your life, you’ve probably heard someone tell you to relax, whether it was a massage therapist creating the scene, a supportive partner attempting to be supportive, or that friend who always manages to keep it together no matter what.
It can be an invitation to relax if you’re advised to. However, it can also be offensive. That relies on the situation so much, but it also depends on how well you’ve mastered the art of relaxing.
Relaxation is a skill, indeed. There is no button you can push to instantly enter a state of calmness or cast a spell or incantation to do so. What you need know about refocusing your thoughts on relaxing is provided here.
How to Approach Relaxation as a Skill
The word “relaxation” could evoke pictures of a woman in a bathrobe, slippers, and sunglasses or of a trip to a tropical beach while sipping wine. The good news is that being at ease doesn’t matter what you’re wearing, where you are, or how much money you have. You can bring tranquility with you anywhere if you learn how to do it.
9 Steps to Relaxation
I use the following steps to hone my relaxation abilities:
- Make room for it.
- Maintain your space.
- Connect your mind and body.
- Get active.
- Thought examination.
- Go where the energy flows.
- Check the weather.
- Plan out your downtime.
- Repeat.
Make Room for It
My first step in developing the art of relaxation is to make space. I’ll tell you what relaxing isn’t in a few instances. Hurrying, rushing, or trying to beat the clock is not relaxation. It isn’t coercive, competitive, or striving. By making space, you can reduce your chances of having to do any of these things, including jostling for spot at banks or rushing to punch in at work.
In comparison, relaxation could resemble the following:
- Before starting the day’s activities, choose a quiet area and perform a quick visualization exercise.
- Rather than working longer during lunch, going out to lunch.
- Even if it with family or friends, going on outdoor dates to do something creative like drawing.
Sounds good, doesn’t it?
The quality of relaxation is the same regardless of the variety of forms it can take. It appears when you give it the room and time to do so. So how do you make room? To me, it resembles adding boundaries to everything you do. You delineate the region for a place (and relaxation) to live and grow in those margins. For example, if your weekday begins with back-to-back meetings, you might be inclined to start working immediately to make up for lost time. Instead, attempt to take a few seconds to center on yourself.
You may simply get up and intentionally drink some water, go to the restroom whether you have to or not, or sit and observe your body. Even though it can seem insignificant, these brief periods of solitude helps.
Maintain Your Space
My strategy for relaxing depends so much on space that it requires two steps. You’ll need to maintain it once you’ve created it.
Every aspect of your life will attempt to occupy your space. Your significant other, your dog, your kids, the bills, your neighbor, your chatty best friend, night classes, summer camps, car difficulty, and plumbing problems… the list is endless. You want to keep your space, and life is going to happen, all at once.
It’s your responsibility to protect that area as though it were a priceless asset. It is comparable to establishing solid limits. You have a right to have your needs met since they are significant. You need your space if you view relaxation as a need, which I do.
Connect your Mind and Body
Mind and body relaxation are linked and frequently have an impact on one another. One’s total well-being might be favorably impacted by the other when they are both at ease. Here are a few approaches to coordinating the relaxation of the body and mind:
- Deep breathing: Deep breathing assist the body to relax by easing tension and increasing oxygenation. They also help to calm the mind.
- Meditation: Calming the mind and concentrating on the present moment are key components of this practice. It contributes to relaxation, stress reduction, and self-awareness. You can feel a profound sense of calm in your body while doing meditation.
- Mindfulness: The development of mindfulness enables a closer connection between the mind and body and encourages relaxation by allowing you to pay attention to feelings, thoughts, and sensations.
- Massage therapy: This manipulates the body’s soft tissues to promote rest, reduce stress, and ease muscle tension. Massage can help to simultaneously calm the body and mind and produce a full-body experience of relaxation.
Get Active
Despite the fact that life might be overwhelming, a lot of stress and worry is actually caused by thinking. Exercise or a little period of play can be really beneficial for temporarily disengaging from our thoughts. The higher the impact, the greater the result will be. For example, vegetable gardening is wonderful. However, taking a walk is even better. Activities like this are what occupational therapists refer to as “heavy work” since that is exactly what they are!
By triggering the proprioceptive and vestibular systems, which control your sense of balance and where you are in space, it can assist you in being more aware of your body.
Other fantastic ways to enter your body include: lifting, dancing, martial arts, yoga.
Thought Examination
The act of thinking causes a lot of tension. The best course of action is stopping the process. or refining your thoughts a little. My preferred method for doing this is to keep track of my ideas, separating the ones I want to pay attention to from the ones I can discard.
In order to do this, I use the cognitive distortion categories to assist me separate the beneficial ideas from those that could use some refinement.
These consist of:
- Catastrophizing: anticipating the worst.
- Emotional reasoning: assuming that your feelings are true.
- Overgeneralization: applying a conclusion to all circumstances.
- Personalization: taking things personally.
- Polarization: the use of binary judgments.
- Mental filtering: focusing on the negative.
- Neglecting the good by attributing it to chance or good fortune.
- “Should” statements: berating or blaming oneself for your behavior.
- Labeling: defining others or yourself in terms like “dumb” or “silly”.
- Mind reading: believing that one can read the thoughts of others.
I just change the story when I catch myself engaged in one of these cognitive errors.
This resembles:
- Separating the harmful idea.
- Noting the feeling that was associated with it.
- Figuring out which distortion is at work.
- Restating or rewriting the idea in a neutral, impartial manner.
- Noting the feeling sparked by the changed concept.
It’s preferable to establish this habit by putting everything in paper. You have a lot to remember. Once you practice for awhile, it gets easier to go through the steps in your head.
Go Where the Energy Flows
Through all of the aforementioned steps, you establish a deep connection with your energy-state. Once you’ve made that connection, you are free to use your energy to give yourself whatever you need at that moment.
After an evening stroll, you should treat yourself to some skincare and pampering if you feel that your skin could use it. Ensure that you get enough sleep whenever possible. When you pay attention to your energy-state and sensations, they can tell you a lot about what your body, mind, and soul want and need.
Check the Weather
The preceding cognitive distortion exercise goes hand in hand with checking the weather. And when I say I’m checking the weather, I really mean my own personal barometer.
Check in with yourself as you sit. Realize how your body feels and pay attention to any new sensations.
Resist the urge to categorize or judge. This type of check-in is a somatic practice that allows us to connect with our sensed experience. Although labels like “sad,” “hungry,” or “tired” are created by the mind, the actual experiences are created by our senses.
Plan Out your Downtime
Have you ever had extra time on your hands and confused because you didn’t know what to do with it? Making the most of the limited time you do have can be accomplished through curating your place and time.
Without excessive planning or overscheduling, consider the times when you know you’ll have space. Make every effort to make the most of that time by preparing the necessary materials in advance or setting up a relaxing environment.
Release, Unwind, and Repeat
Not only is relaxation a skill, but it’s also an art. You will bring relaxation into your daily life more and more as you create space to acknowledge it as a crucial component of your health and well-being.
When the rest of the world is in a frenzy, relaxation must become a normal condition of being. This requires practice, protection, and repetition. But making the time, space, and effort to give yourself the gift of tranquility is worthwhile.
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Bottom Line
Relaxation allows you to indulge in a wonderful retreat from daily tension. Let relaxing activities, like meditation, soft music, or nature walks, lead you to a state of profound tranquility. Spend some time on yourself, and let relaxation renew your body, mind, and spirit.